tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19297565069469768582024-03-19T07:49:48.429+00:00Deja's View - Observations from Rural Middlesex Deja Whitehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151485840518571738noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1929756506946976858.post-64517930645115754792014-08-17T15:48:00.001+01:002014-08-18T19:08:42.016+01:00See What the Map Says
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yesterday, Steve and I went to LonCon 3, the 72<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup>
World Science Fiction Convention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
could only justify one day, so we opted for the Saturday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a couple of panels about literary
agents which were of particular interest to me, and it was a chance to hear
Anne Sudworth talk about her paintings. </span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.annesudworth.co.uk/">The Anne Sudworth Website</a></span></o:p><br>
<o:p></o:p><br>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJeiXHPxIngd1K_W4qw7JQSohEtIhH3GzWC8pMOzIuPyfyvxc3uo5wjwbs2_wgMiiJpO5pXi2z78mhv6yhDxX5D4vCcuzE8fuIH6lU6BRWyHH7tZ_pjEeAzBcuuyR-3EQsbSp-wryTB1N/s1600/020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJeiXHPxIngd1K_W4qw7JQSohEtIhH3GzWC8pMOzIuPyfyvxc3uo5wjwbs2_wgMiiJpO5pXi2z78mhv6yhDxX5D4vCcuzE8fuIH6lU6BRWyHH7tZ_pjEeAzBcuuyR-3EQsbSp-wryTB1N/s1600/020.jpg" height="200" width="150"></a><br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Multiple paths in life had led us to being there:
collaborating on Steve’s science fiction novel, trying to market it at the 2010
EasterCon where we met the author Liz Williams and the contacts I made through Liz and at subsequent events.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Added to these strands were childhood
influences, in particular my father’s fascination with the occult and esoteric
and his love of science fiction and fantasy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was reared on myths, legends and fairy tales and started reading Ursula K
Le Guin, Anne McCaffrey and Ray Bradbury at a very early age.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My father always wanted a library and he accumulated a vast
collection, fiction and non-fiction alike; poetry, plays and novels,
as well as music – on vinyl, audio cassette and CDs: classical, jazz, blues and
folk, even the occasional rock album.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
enjoyed some of it and dismissed a great deal more, taking it all for granted,
as I imagine many privileged teenagers do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There seemed to be reference material on any given subject, so if I asked
for help with a homework assignment, there was a tendency to be overwhelmed by
a list – or worse still – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pile</i> of
relevant information.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was I
grateful?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What do you think?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My parents and brother were members of the Epsom Poetry
Reading Circle which met monthly to participate in a programme prepared by one
of the members.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went occasionally but
never felt fully engaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assumed I wasn’t
really “into poetry” and although there were particular poems I liked, I wouldn’t
make a point of reading a particular poet or anthology.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I never really appreciated how lucky I was and there were
probably many lost opportunities to learn even more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I absorbed so much through familial osmosis –
for example, it drives Steve mad that I rarely lift a finger in the garden but
I know what all the plants are called.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
recognise pieces of music and, most extraordinarily, I can quote chunks of
poetry and in many cases I even remember who wrote it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was rooting through some of my early writing pieces this
week and found a series of anecdotes, most of them more personal diary entries
than anything I would wish to commit to bloggery, but one of them quoted Robert
Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”, so that’s twice in three posts. In Frost’s poem he
talks of choosing one of two paths and feels that he may come to regret the
decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This reminded me of my father’s
poem “See What the Map Says”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His view
is different – you should seize every opportunity to explore while you have the
time, not waste time prevaricating or regretting your decisions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”, Tom Stoppard has
Guildenstern present an even bleaker view of life:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“We cross our bridges
when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our
progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our
eyes watered”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I favour my father’s view – what’s yours?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Road Not Taken<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And sorry I could not travel both</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And be one traveller, long as I stood</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And looked down one as far as I could</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To where it bent in the undergrowth;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then took the other, as just as fair,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And having perhaps the better claim,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because it was grassy and wanted wear;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Though as for that the passing there</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Had worn them really about the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And both that morning equally lay</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In leaves no step had trodden black.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh, I kept the first for another day!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yet knowing how way leads on to way,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I doubted if I should ever come back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I shall be telling this with a sigh</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Somewhere ages and ages hence:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I took the one less travelled by,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that has made all the difference.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Robert Frost<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">See what the map says<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The map is a record of places visited,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">all else is hearsay – there be dragons!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The map grows outwards, pausing at times</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to consolidate an area, invest towns,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">rushing at others to stake new claims.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Always there are places you mean</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to go back and revisit, promising</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“This time it will be different.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Always there are places unasked,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">visits some circumstance dictates.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And when, as the light fades</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">on winter evenings, you take out the map</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the empty quarters stare at you</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">asking “Why did you never?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“What happened?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
intervened?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So perhaps the route to hell</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">has on it all the missing stations,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the journey of no return encompassing</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">all the lost occasions of “do I dare?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But you can never count on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Better always to dare further,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">gamble on the unexpected, reach out,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">seize every ticket, use up the visas</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">in case there are no Thomas Cooks</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">waiting your sacrificial goose.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The map unfolds, unrolls</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">picturing the ebb and flow of time</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">as the shadow of a tree in leaf</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">moves on a whitewashed wall</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">never showing twice the same pattern.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is far easier to make an excuse</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">than to make the simplest journey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The empty spaces stand in rebuke.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">While yet there is time, see what the map says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Peter Stanford<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
Deja Whitehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151485840518571738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1929756506946976858.post-13494177097536537762014-08-10T17:55:00.001+01:002014-08-10T17:55:38.793+01:00The Tyranny of Aging
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Shortly before my father died, he asked me what I thought
about buying a bicycle.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“For you, you mean?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Well, it would need to have good gears,” he answered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But I could use it to get fish & chips
from the Upper High Street.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As his house was on the edge of Epsom Downs, it might have
been downhill to the chippie, but it was most definitely up on the way back,
just a choice of gradients from the two approach roads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Considering this was barely two months since the
stair lift had been installed, and then only after several major arguments and
a promise that it could be removed once he was more mobile, I wasn’t quite sure
how to answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My father’s battle with cancer lasted several years and
there were various near death experiences, spells in hospital, followed by
recovery periods, some of which necessitated either my brother or me staying
with him until he was well enough to cope by himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
visited him once or twice a week and both of us phoned daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was also blessed with good friends and
neighbours, but like Dylan Thomas, he had no intention of going “gentle into
that good night” and there was definitely plenty of raging against the dying of
the light.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of my friends are going through similar experiences at
the moment – all of them are familiar with the sudden dashes across country, fights
with hospitals and difficult conversations with doctors and social services.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You get to the point where, whenever the phone
rings, you don’t think “I wonder who that could be?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s “Oh God, what now?” and you never relax.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But it’s just as bad for the ailing parent – as memory and/or
mobility diminishes, they find themselves increasingly dependent on others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simple pleasures like reading or going for
long walks become more and more difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As their social circle dwindles, so too does their ability to get about
under their own steam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having to give up
driving has to be one of the bitterest blows, relying on public transport,
family or friends to go any distance at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It took a trashed nearside wing mirror to convince my father to hang up
his car keys.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As we grow older, the relationship we have with our parents
evolves but nothing prepares you (or them) for the time when you have to take
over the parenting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s payback
for all the heartache you cause them when you’re growing up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My father was away a lot when I was at school, and I left
home a couple of years after graduating, so I didn’t see that much of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As his health deteriorated, we spent far more
time together and as a result, became really good friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loved prowling round charity shops,
claiming to be a true hunter gatherer, and these outings always included his
beloved fish & chip lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter
how angry, bitter or resentful I felt, sooner or later there would be a funny
remark or a shared memory that made it all worthwhile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although he was frequently in pain and he was less and less
able to get about independently, his mental faculties were largely
unaffected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was able to indulge his
passion for movies, read avidly and continue with his writing: short stories,
novels and poems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The two that
follow express how he felt far better than I can.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Storm warnings</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></u></b></span> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 30.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></u></b></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yesterday again the pains came back,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">sudden tremor, contraction in the chest,</span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 30.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">those hints once laughed aside in sayings,</span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 30.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">A goose walked over my grave.</span></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 30.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></i></span> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 30.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></i></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is no longer prudent to assume<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 30.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a wealth of years ahead, safe in a bank.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The currency of life fluctuates and falls,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">each rumour setting off another change.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">So much to do, so little time.</span></i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hollywood's words in Zola's mouth<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">but health variable as clouds<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">does put careful husbandry in doubt.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today's urgent need so easily becomes<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">tomorrow's forgotten yesterday.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Excuses sprout like weeds,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">the garden runs to wilderness.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The fabric of the house is in decay.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">bricks need pointing, slates split,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">frost takes the structure apart,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Judas silver in hands of clay.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today the pains have yet to strike:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">tablets and powders keep the weather sweet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Time perhaps to write a sort of peace<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">bought with the wasting assets I have left.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p> </div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u>Coming
to terms</u></b></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had to come
to terms with silence:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">turning on the
radio didn't drive it away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It became my
landlord… made the rules,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">dictated when
my sun could shine,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">summoned rain
like a steel screen</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to keep me
penned indoors, the better</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to acknowledge
my isolation.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Silence is a
compendium of loss,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">a telephone
that does not ring,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">mute
photographs of those I loved,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">dead leaves of
words unspoken,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">those last
missed opportunities</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to say exactly
what I meant.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tangible
fall-out of the aging process</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had to come
to terms with silence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The dead
deserve their moments of repose:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">w</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">hy disturb
the darkness they inhabit now?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The invitation
will arrive some day</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">for silence
has its own allotted span.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No point in
wishing precious days away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No welcome for
the guest who comes too soon.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif";"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif";">Peter Stanford: 18 November 2000.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Tms Rmn","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></div>
Deja Whitehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151485840518571738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1929756506946976858.post-32136890857235670422014-07-31T17:30:00.001+01:002014-07-31T17:31:01.285+01:00Mending Fences<a href="http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/mending-wall">Robert Frost: "Mending Wall"</a><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our garden is once more fully enclosed and indeed there is
much rejoicing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To quote Robert Frost:
"good fences make good neighbours".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s a shame that this could only be accomplished by sacrificing our ash
tree. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm not exactly the outdoors type - the closest I've come to
roughing it was a youth hostelling holiday (by car) the summer before my A
levels and a long weekend in a static caravan in Barmouth about 20 years ago -
in October - brrr.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even in Thailand, I
declined a rudimentary beachside bungalow in favour of one further inland, with
a proper shower and a flushing toilet (and a scorpion in the sink, but that’s
another story). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To quote my husband:
"let's face it - you don't do mud."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, namby-pamby softy I might be, but I appreciate the four elements
and Mother Nature in all her glory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
I love trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OK, I don’t go around
hugging them, but they're wonderful and it breaks my heart to see them cut
down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our property has five immediate neighbours: three down one
side, one at the end and one on the other side. When we first arrived, there
was a well-established ash tree on the border between us and Neighbour #3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About six years ago, we agreed to pollard it
because it overshadowed their garden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Unfortunately, the tree surgeon arrived a day earlier than expected, so
our neighbours didn't get a chance to cover their fishpond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He scattered branches over both gardens and
only did rudimentary clear up in ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then, thanks to strong winds and horrible weather, the fence collapsed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Repairing it was a total nightmare because
the ash tree had grown too far across the border, and next door were on at us
to cut it down completely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually
the tree stayed and the fence was restored, but it left me determined that no
matter what happened, no-one was touching that tree again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should add that we'd paid for everything,
fence included.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, last autumn, Neighbour #3, accompanied by Neighbour #2,
approached Steve and asked us to pollard the tree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Yggdrasil, bless its little World Tree
heart and roots, had grown back bigger and sturdier than ever and the
controversial fence was already severely challenged - even before the extreme
weather set in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, I did the
"over my dead body, look what happened last time, it cost us a fortune,
it's not like there's that many trees left in this so-called conservation
area..." speech.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the intervening
period, Neighbour #4 had cleared a substantial part of their garden, although
this is now landscaped, laid to lawn with new trees and shrubs and it looks
really beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Neighbour #5 had
cut back a particularly shaggy conifer - dubbed "Treebeard", which
overshadowed just about everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apart
from Neighbour #4's stunningly beautiful silver birch, our ash tree was the
last tall tree standing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neighbour #5
had made a similar request when they tackled "Treebeard" but I'd
refused. They got the speech too, and they'd only just moved in!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had to admit it: the ash tree was blocking the light from all
our properties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found a different
tree surgeon and he did a brilliant job, leaving nary a twig out of place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ended up with a pretty splendid Yule log
and everyone was apparently happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alas,
no: the poor tree had been so severely pruned, it looked like a totem pole and
the trunk had grown so thick, that there was no question of putting a fence
straight across without one of us giving up some of our garden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As an interim measure, the fence panels on
either side of the tree were made as secure as possible, courtesy of the
husband of Neighbour #2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, we
were incapable of reaching an agreement on how best to plug the gaps in
between, not to mention the fact that he'd shifted the boundary about 1ft in
her favour on one side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The dispute dragged on into spring, by which time none of us
had the energy for further fence wars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even if we'd agreed on some way of closing the space, the tree would
carry on growing and it would start all over again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in May we agreed to remove the tree and I
made myself scarce while it happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You'd have thought that would have been the end of it, but
no, there were further bickers about removing the stump and the on-going
dispute over the boundary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the plus
side, no tree at all was preferable to the totem-pole AND Neighbour #3 checked
her deeds and said that the fence was down to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, although we'd paid for pollarding, tree and
stump removal, she'd pay for the fence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She also conceded over the borderline.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So why, you may ask, did it take until the last day of JULY
to get this done?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, the first person
she asked was Mr Neighbour #2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said
he'd do it, but made excuse after excuse until Steve suggested we tried someone
else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, this was someone we'd
already had in to quote when we were looking for a gap-closing solution, and he
never called back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally Neighbour #3
asked her gardener to quote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was
three weeks ago, but as of last night, still no fence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So you can imagine our jubilation when the
construction noises we could hear this morning turned out to be the Reluctant
Gardener, installing the fence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can't see us ever being friends, but an Englishwoman's
home is her castle - and maybe now, with metaphorical moats and drawbridges
restored, we can be good neighbours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Deja Whitehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151485840518571738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1929756506946976858.post-895634388562968832014-07-25T18:54:00.000+01:002014-07-25T18:54:13.702+01:00ThunderstruckIt's nice to know that even now there are still new experiences to enjoy. Mind you, eating al fresco in a thunderstorm was never likely to feature on my bucket list. For a start, I've never been exactly relaxed in thunderstorms, having had a life-long phobia of sudden loud noises. Much as I love firework displays, it's difficult to relax with your fingers crammed in your ears, cringing at every bang. People blowing up and bursting empty crisp bags or playing with balloons, have been known to reduce me to a gibbering jelly. And don't even get me started about small dogs outside supermarkets!<br />
<br />
However, thanks to a lovely hypnotherapist lady I met through Reiki, the dog phobia was dealt with and as a result I'm a lot more relaxed these days, although I still try to keep indoors on Bonfire Night.<br />
<br />
Anyway, back to the thunderstorm. I blame Steve really. It was only a couple of weeks back we decided to buy a new barbecue. Off we trotted to Tesco's Home and took advantage of their seasonal offer. It was a lovely day and we stopped at a local hostelry for lunch in their garden. It's a cosy little walled enclosure, with cascades of petunias from hanging baskets. The plan was to christen the barbecue that evening, but alas, it started to rain on the homeward journey and kept it up on and off for days. The barbecue stayed in its box and it's been there ever since. <br />
<br />
So today, another brilliant, roasting morning, both of us at home, so we went into Staines for a mooch round the market followed by lunch at the same pub as before. On the way, Steve suggested a barbecue over the weekend. We ordered our food, settled down in the garden and tried to ignore the gathering clouds. No umbrellas, no coats and the car on the far side of town. Not exactly well thought out.<br />
<br />
As the rain started, Steve drew comparisons with storms he'd seen in Cameroon - rain like waterfalls, carrying on for up to 14 hours. "Nothing like we see in the UK," he said. I don't know if he was trying to provoke a response but I'm sure the Gods have a sense of humour. Luckily most of the tables are under a vast umbrella, albeit not the one we'd chosen. By the time the food arrived, we'd moved under cover and just in time.<br />
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Initial spots of rain developed into full son et <span style="font-family: inherit;">lumière</span> - most impressive, if a little noisy. The storm gathered pace, the wind picked up and the rain hammered down. An elderly gent came out to the garden as the rain started. "I blame you," he said to me. "You're a witch!" Don't get me wrong: it was a logical conclusion I suppose - I'm a member of a pagan group which meets there, and he's a regular, although I can't remember seeing him before I explained I had no control over the weather (although a friend of mine once managed to hold back the rain long enough to complete a hand-fasting - oh to have his command over the elements!) and thought no more about it. It was only when the old gent started to make jokes about sacrificing chickens, to which I replied I believed in preserving life, not taking it, that we decided weather and company were getting tiresome and we retreated indoors until the storm passed.<br />
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So no barbecue this weekend - and my apologies anyone else who had one planned.<br />
<br />Deja Whitehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151485840518571738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1929756506946976858.post-27700566317005793532009-08-24T19:21:00.003+01:002014-07-25T17:41:25.798+01:00Self-Publish and be Damned?This article was first posted in August 2009, after my husband Steve and I decided to self-publish our science-fiction novel, “Einstein’s Question”. Reading it again, five years later, I can't fault my enthusiasm and optimism, but having learnt so much more about writing and publishing, it really warrants a rewrite.<br />
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Once the book was finished, we did our research and drew up a list of agents who specialised in science-fiction. There were various factors that meant we weren’t an immediate choice:<br />
<ul>
<li>First-time novelists</li>
<li>No follow-on book and definitely not the first part of a trilogy</li>
<li>Joint authors</li>
<li>Some heavy scientific content including equations</li>
</ul>
Only one agent requested the full manuscript and in the event, he offered to represent us, but unlike traditional agents, he also charged a management fee. Perhaps that should have rung warning bells, but we were so thrilled someone wanted to take us on. After 3 rounds of submissions to science-fiction friendly publishers, we were still without a publisher and rather than wait, we discussed it with our agent and he suggested we self-publish with AuthorHouse.
This too had its challenges, in particular, how to handle the graphics and equations. In the end, I had to generate the final PDF file from our manuscript because I had the appropriate equation editor. AuthorHouse produced softback and hardcover editions, both of which look really impressive and the paper quality is excellent. Working with a self-publishing organisation gives you an enormous amount of freedom over the manuscript and the cover. There was a painting we wanted to use for the book jacket, so we supplied photographs which were then converted and cropped.
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Unfortunately, when you self-publish, you have total responsibility for the marketing as well as the book content and cover. We commissioned a website: <a href="http://www.einsteins-question.com/">http://www.einsteins-question.com/</a>, sent out press releases to press- release websites and registered on various book-focussed social networking sites. We publicised the book to our facebook and LinkedIn contacts and tapped into all our personal connections. Through Steve’s involvement with Theoretical Physics, we approached Physics World and New Scientist and took out a Star Product advertisement with Physics World. We also posted the book release on the British Science Fiction Association website (<a href="http://www.bsfa.com/">http://www.bsfa.com/</a>) and had a full page colour advertisement in Interzone. People bought the book through Amazon - US and UK and there were some nice reviews.
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We still haven't been able to attract a really large audience. AuthorHouse handle the retail book distribution, either from their own website or through Amazon, Waterstone’s etc. Unfortunately, that is bundled into the cost, so an AuthorHouse paperback retails at a considerably higher price than a mainstream publisher, albeit slightly less if you buy it direct from them. There was no question of handling storage and distribution ourselves - that would have been far too much hassle.
Luckily, we retain the publishing rights, and as a result were able to produce and upload our own Kindle version, which is much more affordable and accessible.<br />
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Periodically AuthorHouse call and ask us either if we would be interested in a marketing campaign, or a discounted bulk order. Every time I explain, sometimes patiently, sometimes peevishly, that we only buy copies 10 at a time, and it's cheaper to buy them direct from the AuthorHouse UK retail outlet - if you buy in bulk, they are shipped from the US and it costs a fortune. Anyway, where would we put 200 copies, even if we had the market for them? As to marketing, they would no doubt run an excellent campaign, but at our expense and with limited results. I'm tired of being told it could be the next best-seller: of course that would be fantastic, but I really don't think it very likely. And if I get the Harry Potter speech again, I won't be answerable for my actions. I'm very proud of "Einstein's Question", but I don't see it as the starting point of a multi-million pound franchise. For a start, we have no plans for a sequel, and I'm not sure about turning it into a movie, although I know Steve would disagree.<br />
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I don't regret our decision. Nothing can take away the amazing sense of achievement of holding a properly published copy of your own work. We learnt a lot and met some incredible people and we're both still writing. But next time, the next book - will be different.Deja Whitehousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151485840518571738noreply@blogger.com0